Sitting here in comfy sweats watching ‘Sex and the City’ and wondering how I’ve never watched it all the way through before now. Coincidentally, it was my good friend Carrie who convinced me of the education I would be endowed after finishing all six seasons from start to finish. I’m currently halfway through and in my mid-twenties am astonished by how much of these four single women’s anecdotes I can hilariously and saddeningly relate to.
Now, don’t spoil it for me if I haven’t gotten to this part yet, but one thing I can’t seem to grasp is how unfailingly easy it is for these women to simply get past their failed relationships—aside from Carrie’s Mr. Big of course. They find a flaw or a con or have a bad date or this or that and they can so easily walk away. I know, I know, you’re thinking, “Emily, these are fictional people.” But seriously, in today’s day and age of social media connectivity overload, simply walking away feels damn near impossible. But is virtually being connected at all times through a few finger swipes on your cell phone what is really hindering us from letting go of failed relationships? Or is it that change is truly hard to accept for the majority of us?
I’ve always felt I welcomed change with open arms, but the older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve realized I don’t always take change in stride. Especially the end-of-a-relationship kind of change. I’ve grown to value stability, consistency, schedules, planning ahead. It’s hard, change. And when a relationship ends, it can sometimes stop you in your tracks. It can make you feel like time has stopped yet the rest of the world keeps on spinning without you. Ugh, it all sounds so incredibly cliché, but am I the only one who would rather a broken leg than a broken heart? Stick with me here–you’ve spent the last however many months or years developing constancy and routine with this person, romantically, platonically, or otherwise, and then it’s *over* for one reason or another—and once the relationship ends the change begins. Is this really a bad thing though?
I say all this to pose these questions: Why is it so difficult to walk away from that which ultimately brings us into a transitionary period in our lives? What is it about letting go and entering the unknown that is so truly terrifying? Is change not just a part of life?
Mulling over this with another girlfriend, we both realized we had been guilty of pining over past relationships, romantic and platonic, and the memories and emotions that accompanied those relationships. We both came up empty at first to my previously posed questions. Why is it so damn difficult to just embrace the positives of moving on from failed relationships? Is it too much to think of them as failed instead of seeing them as ‘not the right fit?’ Am I still beating the same dead horse here?
I’ll leave you all with this: I may not have all the answers to the age-old question, why is change so hard? Your mom might have an opinion, your girlfriend, your ex, whomever. But the truth of the matter may in fact lie between your own personal readiness to accept the new and the fact that things simply don’t always work out how we would have hoped. Such is life, I guess.